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katherine crowe: Blog

Silver linings

Posted on June 5, 2014 with 1 comment
Sorry, it's been a while.

Where to start and where to go with this...hmmm.

Well I was planning a trip away with the kids when it became inevitable that we would be on our own quite soon. But what to do? We could have a week or two in Greece on the beach but coming home to a cold and empty house is bad enough at the best of times. So the idea formed that I should get a camper van so that we could always just shoot off when we feel like it. And that's what I did. I found a lovely silver VW that has enough seats for parties and enough room for me, the kids and the dog to go anywhere for a night or two. And thanks to the lovely people that sold it to us they let me take it away the day I test drove it. On his insurance and still in his name we went camping for the night. You only really get that sort of trust on our little island.

Going back to last year, there are a couple of teenagers who have shown a level of maturity and kindness that astounded me. The lads, now 12 and 14, are the kids [...]
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My worst fear.

Posted on May 15, 2014 with 9 comments
So now it's time to slow down and start on the next thing and the next thing. I had to force my daughter to school at gunpoint this morning and she had a huge blowout last night. Exhaustion and knowing the cousins and grandparents were leaving to pick up their own lives in West Wales. Add to that the sheer stress, and last night became the moment I feared most.

When someone is ill for a time you have a chance to start to deal with the loss. But I knew watching my kids struggle would be the hard part. And so it happened with my daughter last night. She screamed and she bawled and thanks to Hayley, our little angel, we managed to take turns just sitting with her.
It started because she refused to go back to school, but half an hour in to her screaming session I think she had a realisation.

"I want Mum!" The words hit you like a brick and there's nothing you can do. I realised why this happened as well. It's because I could not be negotiated with so she would usually get her mum to "reason" [...]
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What now?

Posted on May 15, 2014 with 3 comments
I'm not quite sure what i'm doing here so i'll just give a little update to the no facebook brigade.

I've just waved Kath's parents and her big sister off and more or less will be back to normal.

Since Kath went I have been going at 200 miles an hour preparing for the funeral and stuff. On the thursday, the day after, I literally didn't look up from a phone or computer until about 7 at night. Took a deep breath and felt just like we used to arranging a big gig. And that's what I have been doing. The biggest gig of our lives.

It's fairly easy with a support network like Kath has, but I had to keep tabs on all the details I could. The Church service wasn't as overcrowded as I was fearing. Just a nice church full of people who were close to us. Balloons hanging and pinging around when they were attached to kids. Cushions for them to snuggle up and a very special reading of Denzil the Mouse made it just how she would have wanted it.

Kath hated kids to be excluded or ignored. We rarely [...]
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Sleep now my Beauty!

Posted on May 8, 2014 with 2 comments
She's gone! At 9.50 tonight 7th May 2014, My beautiful, inspiring and perfect wife and soul mate slipped peacefully away. She waited to see the last of her closest friends and made sure all of the loose ends were tied up. Rest my beauty - I'll see you on the flip side XX All my love, Andy Frankland-davies

I know what this site and blog meant to her and you all so will try and pass things on and keep the dream alive.

If you can hook up on facebook here
There will be quite a community of people sharing and chatting.

Big Love, Andy

I know many people read this and may not be facebook friends or in the loop.

Kath is hanging on but she is heavily sedated now. Her health is in rapid decline and we are sure it is only a matter of time before she gets the rest she so rightly needs and deserves. I will try to put some updates on here if people feel they need to know stuff.

In fact I'm under strict instruction to keep people informed and pass on her love.

It is a strange fact that I have not read her blogs. For two reasons I chose not to.

1 - I lived with her throughout these events and didn't want an opinion on what she wrote or to expose myself to things that I had to experience anyway.
2 - It means, when I don't have her anymore I have a new part of her to love and cherish. After losing my brother many years ago I realise how precious little secrets and stories are. And I'm lucky. I have years of it to go through.

I'm struggling to see the screen right now so i'll leave it there for now. Just know, that no matter [...]
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